 ~ Happiness in the Midst of All Adversity ~ I was driving down 1st Street yesterday - March 10, 2021 - and a sign above a local bar captured my eye: ‘A YEAR AGO THIS WAS OUR LAST NORMAL DAY AND NOBODY KNEW IT’ What a sign, right? Our last normal day... Yes, Goodbye to normalcy. One year ago. That’s because, today - one year ago - a global pandemic was formally declared. And with that formal declaration, the world as everyone knew it… changed forever. Whether or not that nasty and sticky little coronavirus touched us personally, every single human being on this planet has been affected in some way or another. And we all continue to be. The ripple effects - monstrous. The waves - continue. But there’s just something strange about marking one year. One year of anything life changing, really. It reminds me - in a very somber way - of the sad and solemn anniversaries that come round each year on September 11th. But while, every year, on September 11th, I am extremely sad - today, I am not. Today - I am happy. Truly happy. Religiously - happy. Rejoicing. Happy. Happy to be alive. Happy to have survived this past year intact. Happy for everything I have learned. Happy with how my life has changed over the course of the pandemic year. Grateful for everything. Grateful for everyone. Thankful for everything and everyone I said hello to. And met this past year. Thankful for everything and everyone I had to say goodbye to over this past year. So, today, just for kicks, and since I deleted Twitter just the other day, I went ahead and removed some apps from my phone that I was - well - pretty sour with, let’s just say. While I deleted Twitter entirely, I deleted the following apps today and still have accounts as of today - Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook, Facebook Business, and Facebook Messenger. Goodbye. I decided the benefits of having the apps themselves did not outweigh the risk. I decided I will need to reach all these sites with a browser, and not an app any longer. But these are very easy decisions for me. Because I’ve said Goodbye lots of things these past years… Farewell smiles. Hello masks and face shields and gloves. Goodbye toilet paper. Hello hand sanitizer. Goodbye in-person meetings. Hello Zoom. Goodbye Kirk Douglas, Kobe Bryant, Kenny Rogers. Hello Dr. Fauci. Goodbye job. Goodbye Etsy shop. Hello new job. Goodbye neighbors. Hello new neighbors. Goodbye friends. Hello new friends. Goodbye routine. Hello new routine. Goodbye entertainment. Hello new entertainment. And - Goodbye 2020. Hello 2021. And now that we’re well on our way into 2021, and seeing this beautiful new year unfold before us, I wonder… What will we see Goodbye to this year? What miracles await us? What excitement awaits? What dreams will fall from the Heavenly clouds and into our minds and hearts? So, while September 11th will always and forever be sad to me, and the tears always roll down my cheeks, no matter how hard I fight them. Today, March 11th, every year, I will always remind myself to be happy. Because happiness reigns in my heart as I mark this one year anniversary. And happiness is what I have made of this past year. Because, if there’s anything great, noble, big, and phenomenal, that this pandemic has taught me... it’s that nobody can take my happiness away. No matter how bad the world gets. I am in control. I know the course I’m headed. With Mercy and Comfort in my heart. Faith - intact. And my beliefs - unwavered. I am the one who makes ME happy. I am the one who steers my own ship. And I am the one who lives my life. Nobody else can do it for me. Nobody else is going the same way. And nobody can take any of it away from me ~ unless I let them. So, as they say - COME AND TAKE IT. ~  (Photo Dated: 3.10.2021)
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 'Oh Say Can You See' What do you see... that is still the same today? What do you see… after nineteen years have flown by? What do you see… by the dawn's earliest pink light? What do you see… as we continue our perilous fight? What do you see… looking down at two holes in the solemn ground? What do you see… forever searching and maybe still not found? What do you see… nineteen diligent years later? What do you see… as you peer into those deep craters? What do you see… from an airplane’s crash? What do you see… past all the fire and burned ash? What do you see… past the smoke and dusty air? What will you believe… as people begin to not care? And do you still hear… that valiant band playing through the quiet air? And will you bear witness… to those fighting still and forever as they must? As the next round starts... and we have to keep rolling past all the dust. What do you see… through twilights shining gleam? What do you see… past all those forces unseen? What do you see… through those shining bright stars and breathtaking broad stripes? What do you see… through the horror of all those bombs bursting this very night? What do you see… through pollution and the reddest of red blood? What do you see… as free men - and women - stand here in the mud? What do you see… past Liberty’s smile? What do you see… from sea to shining sea all those miles? What do you see… though concealed fighting to be disclosed? What do you see… as foe’s strike their continual battle blows? Do you see there is proof? That our flag is still there? Oh Say Darling Can You See… her most beautiful story? As she stands here - proud… in all of her glory? Yes - I do. I do see it all. Yes even in war’s havoc and confusion and nineteen years later. I even see Heaven on Earth and God our Creator. I see that reflection shine above all and very tall. I see Angels in the sky… And God in our hearts as we bawl. I see reflection bounced off millions of broken chains. Forever more - unconfined. I see all those who paved our very way. With their very lives - they all gave. Yes, I see those next pages of her remarkable story be flipped. As her bright blazen stays now - and forever - lit. And, I STILL see the land of the freest of free… and know that this is God’s Country home, of the very, very brave. ~  'A September 11th Afternoon - 2020'
4/3/2020 2 Comments #63) Mercy & Comfort “Comfort” It was a September Eleventh kind of day, But in a very different kind of way... Eighteen years ago - the sky so perfectly blue, Now all those years later, we face a brand new truth. And while it was now much more cold, cloudy, and gray, And there were whirling tornadoes all throughout the day. It was also the very same kind of day, In many ironic and fateful ways. It was New York City once again as Ground Zero; And it was all of us - once again - who have to be the real heroes. As many on Manhattan Island once again died, The Comfort came into port and once again tied. It was a day we watched the death toll continue to rise. It was a day soldiers all over heard the battle cries. Another day no planes flying through that Heavenly sky, We all shook our heads and wondered... Why? As we all looked up out the window from our sheltered homes, Way up toward that big and Celestial Dome. It was a day where the country once again pulled together, And our first responders once again ventured All of humanity, thought, and prayer - toward the Empire State, As we work together - a team - to change a horrific fate. It was a day American flags were alive - once again. It was a day people thought of others - before they thought of themselves - once again. And once again gone were sports, award shows, tv, and movies, As we are all called on - once again - to much higher duties. It was a day our leaders once again guided the country through a horrific battle scene, As we all continue working together - a United team. It was a day tears were shed watching the news - once again. It was a day we were all very afraid - once again. It was a day no one could stop from coming at us - once again. It was a day we were hit directly in the gut - once again. It was my generation's second life-altering and defining event, Spreading everywhere - the ripple effect. And it is now a whole new generations first, As they now look for answers and continue onward in their strange and new search. And a new generation of humans now know that not everything can be solved, But that working together as one is as imperative as being involved. This new generation has now seen that REACTION can be the most important virtue of them all, As they all hear maybe their very first battle call. And it was a day once again completely blind to race, gender or age, And it was a day no amount of money could in any way change. Yes, we’ve all once again been affected the entire world over, As this once again changes the entire world order. It was a day we had to have faith in humanity - again. It was a day I cried for New York City - once again. Yes - It was a day very reminiscent and I flashed back Toward the nightmare of a day - of those horrific attacks. Eighteen years ago I walked into St. Peter & Paul, As I heard that Heavenly God’s call. In a church - doors wide open and heavy head bent down low I then prayed - all alone in a pew; Thinking then of a life forward, and all anew. I discussed with Him all the horrific death, destruction, and fear... But Now - church doors all shuttered and tightly closed I have to resort to talking with God Head up - while looking in the mirror. Eighteen years later - He is still right here with me. Eighteen years later - He is once again in New York City. And Lady Liberty - still and forever - guiding the prevailing winds As she, and maybe she alone, knows what is needed to truly win. Yes - Eighteen years later - It was a day we had to save ourselves - once again. While Eighteen years later - It is Him I still see - forever, and again. As He watches over New York City, And as He watches over us all, He watches over these United States of America And he catches every one of us - as we continue to fall. Yes, it was now a very gray sky sort of day, And sadly no longer in a perfect blue sky kind of way. Yes, it was a New York is Ground Zero kind of day {But Mercy, God and Comfort - still - all around} As we face a very different - but still invisible - battleground. Yes - In a very different kind of way... It was a September Eleventh kind of day. ~ 
Check out these other poems and stories for further inspiration, hope, love, faith, humanity, and optimism: 62] PERSPECTIVE @ Seaside Sculpture Park 61] Bean’s Idea List ~ 15 Daily Activities For Well Beyond 15 Days 60] Welcome To Muffin Land ~ The Ugly Cupcake & Muffinry 59] REACTION ~ To World War 19 55] The Shamrock 51] Life Is Full Of Pasta-Bilities ~ Bean’s Red Sauce Recipe 49] A Picture Worth A Thousand Words ~ Happy Valentine’s Day, World 48] Love & Donuts In The Air @ Beaches For Australia 42] Where Does The Chicken Cross The Road? 41] Minnie The Daschund Mouse & Her Birthday Wish 39] The Very Official & Quite Serious Donut Debate Of 2020 38] The Year Of The Sweater ~ Bean’s Minestrone Soup Recipe 36] The End Of A Decade & My New Year’s Wish To You ~ 34] Merry Christmas ~ And How To Buy For That Person On Your List Who Saved Your Life ~ 28] The Scent of Christmas in the Air 27] Thanksgiving & Pete’s Bar ~ Not All Resolutions Need be Fulfilled On January First 26] Deck The Chairs ~ BE THAT CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE IN THIS OUR VERY OWN AND SHAREABLE WORLD 24] In Real Life ~ My First Visit To A Southern Living Idea House 23] Faith ~ And Life Lessons Learned Living WIth Wild & Untamable Hair 21] Cinotti’s ~ And Why Life Is Too Short To Not Eat Donuts 6] Nine Eleven: Before & After 3/20/2020 0 Comments #59) REACTION ~ To World War 19 So I went to Publix the other day. And just like any other day… I parked my car in the parking lot, and went inside. And just like any other day, I grabbed a cart. But not just like any other day, there were things I could not buy. And when my eyes first met up with the bread aisle, I was extremely grateful that I had the foresight to freeze my previously purchased and older loaf. Living through hurricanes taught me as much. So, I could not buy the bread that I wanted. I kept shopping. I could not buy toilet paper. And, living through hurricanes - did not teach me or forewarn me on that one. Nope - no one really saw the toilet paper challenge coming our way. Not even those already prepared for days without power and those who’ve lived through many hurricanes. In fact, there were a lot of things I could not buy. I won’t name them all here, as that is not my point. My initial point is this - I made do. I adapted. I pushed on. I stayed positive. I shared my ideas with others on how I am coping. I still joked about it all. I remained silly and sarcastic. And I kept talking - despite how differently we all might perceive our new reality. Because at the same time, there were many items I could buy… many items in my shopping cart. Many items the cashier scanned through their purchasing system. Many items now settled nicely inside my very cold refrigerator and freezer and pantry and medicine cabinet. You see, how we react to what is placed in front of our eyes, is sometimes more important than what is actually placed before our very eyes. I did not cry these past weeks. Although I wanted to. I did not give up. Although the thought did cross my mind. I did not fight over perceived differences. I only joked about it all. With sarcasm and humor yes, but truly just joking around. And many others are now doing the same. I have been in contact with countless individuals each and every day these last weeks. And what I witnessed - has been the absolute best of humanity. Each person who I speak and interact with is nice. Kind. Optimistic. And yes, scared. But all of them keep their composure in public. All of them do not want to spread further fear. And panic. There was another common theme to every person I recently met. They said that people are talking to each other once again. People are civil. People are reaching out to those they have not spoken to in years. And then, other people are responding in kind. Specifically, people are putting their differences aside. And communicating like human beings again. At the end of one conversation, one man thanked me for speaking with him. We took time to pause for a few minutes. We took the time to genuinely inquire about each other’s well being. Any politics and beliefs and religions and all other differences aside. We are speaking to one another. But most importantly we are caring for one another. And as the conversation with that one gentleman came to an end, he said that this was the best conversation he had in a long time. I said I completely agreed. He went on his way. I don’t know his name. I probably will never see him again. But each person an individual meets and interacts with has the crucial ability to set our future toward a different path. A more optimistic path. If merely, we react to others in a better way. When I exited Publix, the very first thing that caught my attention while walking to my car was a beautiful dog. One of God’s special creatures. A creature who bestows special gifts onto the living world. This precious doggy was sitting at attention. He was watching the exit. Waiting for his owner to leave the store. This angelic pup could not be swayed. This canine could not be distracted. He or she only had eyes for his partner in life. He could not be disturbed in any way. And yes, I did try. How could I resist? The little cutie pie! I said, “Oh hello!” And then told him how cute he was. I said, your owner will be out shortly. But, you know what? His gaze never waivered. His look was of determination. His spirit and love - fully alive in his soul. Waiting. Being diligent. And forever faithful. I said a few more nice things to this adorable little creature and then went on my way. His gaze never once removed. His eyes locked on the front doors of Publix. As we were loading up the trunk, I noticed the next people coming out of the store. Individuals, couples, families. Each of them stopped to talk to the adorable doggy. Each of them wanted a response from the dog - just like I did. I watched the humans. And I watched the dog... Each of them saw pure love in a golden hew. But that dog’s gaze never strayed. I will not forget that dog. He made such an impression on me. Enough of an impression, obviously, that I felt compelled to take a photo. To capture the spirit in his eyes. To soak in his determination and faith and unwavering love for another human. These weeks have been a challenge. Not just for me. Not just for those I have talked with. But for everyone. Every single living human being on this planet is now touched in some way. Touched by a faceless evil. An evil we are now at war with. Yes, we are at war - with a virus. An evil that knows no discrimination. An evil that has destruction in its wake and in its path. An evil that knows no age, no race, no creed, no ethnicity, no sex, no gender, no hair color, no appearance, and certainly doesn’t care whether we look like a million damn dollars, or if we - uh hmmm - could really use a manicure or a hair cut. No - CoVid 19 does not care. It only cares about eating us alive. It only cares about its own survival. And growth. And spread. And mutation. And adaptation. And to gain even further power over us. To swallow us whole. To suffocate us. And in order for us to survive against this evil we will have to suffer. And in order for it to be destroyed - we also have to suffer. You see - we - every single human being - has now been called to action. We not only have to act. But we have to REACT. We have been summoned. We have been tasked. We have been deployed. In order for our evil to be destroyed - it will require the will and determination and action and reactions of every single human on this planet. Not just a single city. Not just a state. And not just a single nation. This evil requires countries. Nation states. Global powers. The entire world. We are all called to battle. Yes, everybody has to sacrifice. I tend to talk a lot about the following key words: ACTION REPETITION ROUTINE MOMENTUM MASSIVE ACTION And then... REACTION And, in the end - It’s always our reactions that win the day. Or worse off - it’s our reactions that lose the day too. And thus - the war. We’ve REACTED to evil many times in the past. On one very special Christmas during World War I, troops on both sides of the trenches put aside their different causes for a single night. Far in the distance, the songs of Christmas could be heard. Song. And then, once heard, many reacted to the sound of song, and joined in themselves. Soon, trenches were abandoned, and humanity came together. The two sides were no longer at war with one another. They stood in no-man’s land, as equals, and as humans. Sharing their different worlds they lived in. Even speaking one another’s language with each other. Think about that. Their extremely passionate differences put aside, all to make it through a somber time, together. We reacted to the bombing of Pearl Harbor. And it was a REACTION felt round the world. And after that bombing, we were told that the only thing we have to fear - is fear itself. We reacted to North Korean aggression - as they crossed the 38th Parallel, and attacked South Korean sovereignty. We REACTED once again, to September 11th, 2001. America - invaded - by a foreign enemy. We did not initiate. We did not ask for war. We did not want violence and evil and death and destruction and very horrific terrors. But all those evils came our way anyway - and, thus, we reacted. With the full military and civilian might built and instilled and festering inside our souls. By coming together. Yes - We’ve reacted many a time throughout human history. And we must now react, once again. American’s must come together. In fact, the entire world must come together on this one, folks. Yes, our evil is a virus. Yes, our evil has no face. There are no planes crossing the Pacific in secret, set out for destruction from the sky above. We are not focused on the 38th Parallel dividing line on a map. I am not talking about an enemy so determined to fly a plane - but not at all determined to land it. Yes, our evil is completely and utterly invisible. And sometimes, and making this all the more scarier, is the need for awareness in the fact that it’s those invisible evils which are the strongest ones to battle against. They require all our will and force. All of us to be very brave. All of us to sacrifice in some way. And all of our humility. All of humanity. It’s sorta like when you’re playing a video game. And then in the final battle scene of each land within the game, you face the evil villain. Ahhh, that climactic battle scene. With scary music, and scenery, and sounds in the background. All leading you to the horrific villain. That villain is ruthless. That villain has eyes as red as the devil himself. Sometimes that villain breathes fire. And burns his opponent. One life down. One less life left in the game. And sometimes, that evil villain inside the final battle scene… literally POPS out of nowhere. Hidden behind a corner. As you are running up, up, up, sword in hand, to save the Princess in the Castle. You round that final corner, on your way to certain victory, when you are shocked to near death and awe. That evil, red-eyed, fire breathing dragon was invisible. Waiting in hiding. And absolutely and utterly camouflaged into the dark and desolate and dirty brick and mortar of the castle walls. Hiding there. Biding his time. Just waiting for you to come at him. And then… Attack. You are shocked. You are down on the ground. You fall deep into a hole. Or down a green pipe. You have to struggle out. Climb up. Fighting for air. HE - EVIL - has the advantage. EVIL - has the upper hand. EVIL - is one up on you. EVIL - caught you off guard. EVIL - watches you in shock. And EVIL… waits for your reaction. Yes, your REACTION. When you get knocked down, the always and forever question is - will you get up again? Will you - live to die another day? Will you - put up the fight of your life? Will you - hit back? And ultimately - will you - do all this, while keeping your humanity? While keeping civility? While following guidelines? While educating yourself about that fire-breathing dragon? How does he live? How does he survive? And thrive? And what is his weakness? What scares him back into the brick and mortar? What burns him to death? What is required for the destruction of his evilness? Because you can’t fight fire with fire, right? One fire pitted against another in the same small room only makes that fire more powerful and more quickly devouring the entire area. And then - it spreads. Gaining power. Beyond one room. More powerful, more heat, more burn, until it burns the whole house down. Left unchecked with nothing standing, nothing left alive in its path. Eventually swallowing the house itself. Or - it can be snuffed out. Somehow... No - you can’t fight fire with fire… You fight it with water. You fight evil with life itself. Our federal government has called us to action. All of us - living and breathing humans. The challenge and ask is for fifteen days. 15 days to help change the world. 15 days to react to the summons. 15 days to follow repeated guidelines. Every one of us is mentioned in this summons. Every one of us plays a part. If even one single person did not partake in The Christmas Truce of 1914, the entire spur-of-the-moment event would have ended in carnage and bloodshed and death all around. As soldiers sang Christmas Carols and played cards and swapped cigarettes and talked with one another as fellow human beings, if merely one single person on either side brought out their weapon of war and started shooting - there would be a completely different outcome to that all-important day in The Great War. And today, we all must play our part too. No one is sitting on the sidelines on this one. No one gets a free pass. No one is going to the penalty box. We are all in play. Whether we want to play or not. And some roles are quite different from one another. In fact, some roles could not be more different from one another than if we were all sitting in opposing trenches on a muddy and frigidly cold battlefield on Christmas of 1914. We may feel like we are fighting different battles. But we are all on the same team. Yes - In order to win - we must come together. We must play our roles on that same team. We MUST wear the same uniform. All while, I’d say, for most all of us, this has been one of the most challenging times of our lives. These days bring much uncertainty. These days bring destruction and loss. These days bring the feeling of defeat. And today may feel very hopeless indeed. But if we all do our part. The hopelessness doesn’t have to win the day. And our roles vary greatly: Some of us should stay home. All of us should social-distance from one another. Some of us should shelter in place. Some of us should be completely and utterly and formally quarantined. And then, on the complete opposite spectrum - Some of us should report to work as usual. And absolutely none of us should be having the party of our lives right now. Yes, put the kegs away my friends. Spring Break will always be there after we weather the storm. We have been asked to sacrifice. We have been asked to give - of ourselves - for the sake of humanity. This is not the time for selfishness in any way. This is not the time for bickering. This is not the time for politics. This is not the time to give here, but take there. This is simply a time for sacrifice. Sacrifice of all kinds. Some of our sacrifice will be financial. Whether it’s a loss of money, investments, various business opportunities. Some of us will lose the very job we love. The job we need. The job we rely upon. And then, knowing what’s reasonably coming ahead of us, this loss will happen to many more people than most alive today can possibly comprehend at the current moment. Our society forever changed by this war. Some of our loss will be social. And some of our loss will be our education. A class. A graduation. Some will lose out on a magical life experience that can never be fully replicated or replaced in any way ever again. Some of it will be medical. Some will postpone elective surgery. Some very needed and quite necessary surgeries will be gone without. Patients in urgent need will be triaged. A disrupted supply chain leading to lack of medicine and a PPE shortage. Ventilators used at maximum capacity. Pharmaceuticals on demand. And some people, sadly, will lose their very lives. Because there is no war, without loss of life itself. But, And there always is a but. And it’s a big BUT. But If - we do our part. If we play our roles. If we answer our summons, and sign on for duty with all our hearts and energy and strength and determination and will. If we cross the trenches, and come together. Heed the guidelines. Follow the rules set forth by our governments and world leaders. Listen to the scientists. Support our first responders. Pray for our military. Help those who are on the front lines of this battle, all those still needing to be in contact in some way with people who could be infected. Support them, by doing your own part. Fight our own battle and play our own role in this war. And then, after all that, to continue to have faith in humanity. We then have 15 days… 15 days to help change the world. Yes, 15 days to bend the curve. 15 days on a path toward destruction of evil. Who knows where we will be at the end of 15 days? It may be but a single, small step in a larger and grander plan. In a long and drawn-out road map. We may be asked something else of us at the end of 15 days. I have no idea. And neither do you. But it is a start. And I do know one thing. Our start - our reaction - is imperative to our success. The bipartisanship I have seen this week has given me hope. And it has given countless others hope as well. Yes, I have come in contact with many people this week who have said the same exact thing. People are really talking to one another. The common foes are trying to come together. They are speaking. They are supporting one another. They are working together. They are even praising one another, and asking each other for help. But better yet - each of the other is actually answering the call to help from their supposed foe. Yes, I said that right. They are working together, my friends! And all THAT - is true leadership. THAT - takes courage. And I know something else. If they do NOT work together - we will not win this war. Let’s all put our differences aside. Again, for the sake of humanity. Let’s all follow their lead. Let’s all follow the guidelines. Let’s all do our own part. Our own part - in this - Our very own World War 19. As the fire-breathing dragon tries to burn us down with his fire. Let’s fight back with water. Let’s all be human again. Let’s all be civil. Let’s all be humorous, and funny, and sarcastic, and just plain silly. Let’s sing together, and let’s laugh together too. Let’s play cards together and speak each other’s languages. Because we can’t win the war by using fire. We have to breathe life - into life itself. And let’s also all be that golden doggy. The precious creature sitting in the back of a golf cart. Watching humanity walk in and out of a grocery store. And as the dog witnesses shoppers stocking up on what goods they can buy, with disappointment and sadness in what they cannot buy. Let’s all have the unwavering faith of this yellow furball. Sheer will and absolute determination. Forever faithful and absolutely in love. Not caring what others think of his actions. Doing the right thing. Sitting on guard. Not distracted by any temptation. Hopeful and fully believing that at any moment his owner will come walking out the door. A dog - who would give his own life to protect his loved one. Knowing only love, and forgoing all fear. Facing the world head on. Faith on his side. World War 19 literally happening all around him. Belief and love in his heart. Waiting - desperately, and passionately waiting - to react… to love, coming out the front doors of Publix. ~ 
Hey there you fine folks - feel free to check out these other stories down below - yes, right here: 2] 3 Wows Plus 1 Piece Of Magic I Experienced At Jacksonville, Florida’s Cummer Museum Of Art & Gardens 3] The Dog Days Of Endless Summer 6] Nine Eleven: Before & After 21] Cinotti’s ~ And Why Life Is Too Short To Not Eat Donuts 23] Faith ~ And Life Lessons Learned Living With Wild & Untamable Hair 24] In Real Life ~ My First Visit To A Southern Living Idea House 26] Deck The Chairs ~ BE THAT CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE IN THIS OUR VERY OWN AND SHAREABLE WORLD 28] The Scent of Christmas in the Air 34] Merry Christmas ~ And How To Buy For That Person On Your List Who Saved Your Life ~ 36] The End Of A Decade & My New Year’s With To You ~ 39] The Very Official & Quite Serious Donut Debate Of 2020 41] Minnie The Daschund Mouse & Her Birthday Wish 49] A Picture Worth A Thousand Words ~ Happy Valentine’s Day, World 51] Life Is Full Of Pasta-Bilities ~ Bean’s Red Sauce Recipe 55] The Shamrock 58] Bean’s Corona Kickin’ Chicken 9/11/2019 0 Comments #6) Nine Eleven: Before & AfterEvery year, on this day, when I wake in the morning and look at the calendar, it's just another day… but then I see my phone screen displaying today’s date to me. The phone tells me that it’s Nine Eleven, and I get a sinking pit of a feeling in my stomach. A feeling of doom and gloom. It feels like in a nightmare when I am falling and there is no end ever to the fall; and then wake up scared to death. But that feeling stays with me all day. It’s a feeling of aching and utter real, raw, sadness. And I feel it every single year, without fail, on September 11. Nine Eleven. September Eleventh. 9.11. 9/11. Two words. Two numbers. From that point forward in the morning it becomes a very different day than any other of the calendar year. It becomes a very difficult day for me. A day I push myself forward with an extra amount of force. Force necessary to complete my tasks and go about a normal day of activity. Waking. Saying good morning to my husband. And then our first words to each other this day: ‘It’s Nine Eleven.’ Exercising. Cooking. Eating. Painting. Talking on the phone. Reading and watching the news. Driving. Running errands. Going to the library. Tipping the barista a bit extra today at Starbucks. Crying. Alone. In silence. Crying as I write this. Having dinner. Choosing a very happy comedy or adventure-filled film to watch this evening with my husband, and my dog-who didn’t live through that day upon this Earth. Choosing a comedic film to not add any more sadness to my day than necessary. Saying goodnight to the most solemn and somber day of the year. On Nine Eleven, 2001, I was at the very beginning of my junior year of college. I abruptly quit the cross country team at the start of that school year, after two years of running NCAA Division III collegiate athletics. I always thought it was a rash decision, but I went with my gut, and my gut feeling does not fail me. I also quit winter and spring track, right then and there as well. Fiercely independent - I had always wanted and craved to run on my own; and this decision allowed me to give more time and focus toward my very expensive college education. My grades were not where I wanted them to be. I only had so much time and energy; I was spreading myself too thin. I was confident in my decision and never wavered from it. My grades immediately improved with that action. I knew I made the right decision. I made a lot of important life decisions during that school year. I became engaged to be married. I moved off campus and into the condo my fiancé and I purchased in the spring of junior year. I continued onward with my schooling. I worked. I planned my wedding. But when I think back on my junior year of college, I always remember that it began with Nine Eleven. On Nine Eleven I was safe at college in Illinois, tucked far away from the terror taking place to my East. Being in the Midwest, I never happened to know anyone directly affected by the attacks on America that day. And I spent most of that day in the dorm rooms of my friends, watching coverage on tv. That was all you could watch. Everything else stopped. Not being directly affected by the attacks at all, and feeling the way I do each year on Nine Eleven... I cannot even bear to imagine the pain and suffering of people who were directly affected in any way by the attacks. Being of college age when the terrorist attack upon America occurred, I believe I am a member of the in-between generation. Or, what I am calling the “Floating Generation.” Listen up if you are about my age and ever wondered what generation you fall in. Are you a millennial? Or a Gen X’er? I used to question my generational status all the time. Some days I thought with 100% certainty that I am a Millennial. Then, other days, I think, those silly Millennials!!! I canNOT relate to them at all! There’s no way I am a millennial, am I? I realized that people my age have our very own and very distinct generation. I hover. And float. The Floating Generation. I hover and I float between generational skills and beliefs. I float back and forth and go where the waves of time take me. I can balance that paper checkbook very easily if the internet went down. I can use Apple Pay at McDonald’s in an instant if I forget my wallet. Maybe someday I won’t even carry a wallet? I am a ‘Floater.’ Everyone is born into a distinct generation. It’s up to you to decide which one that is, though, and which one you will put yourself in - even if that means creating your own generation. I had grown up prior to Nine Eleven. Nine Eleven occurred when I was a very young and very new adult. A young adult making very important life decisions for the very first time. For me and many others, there was life before Nine Eleven and life after Nine Eleven. Just like there was life before smartphones and life after smartphones were invented. And there also existed for us life before social media and life with the advent of social media. Or “Life Before Facebook” as I commonly say. I am of the American generation who has experienced both eras. I lived and survived life before the internet and now live with the internet a part of my life every single day. I know how to live with Facebook, although I have chosen to now continue life without a Facebook account. I know how to balance a paper checkbook, and will be forever and eternally grateful for the banking app on my phone home screen that keeps track of everything for me now. I float back and forth between the two eras, quite easily adapting to any situation on hand, maybe easier than others can adapt. We are adapters. Adapters to the continual and quick-paced changes taking place around us. This Floating Generation appreciates those little things like a bank app more so than any other generation potentially can appreciate it. Because we have seen, experienced, and know both ways of life. Generations coming up and being born now will have those pieces of technology molded into their lives from as long as they can remember back. How will they relate and study and know their past? At some point in the unknown future, will there exist a generation of humans who don’t know how to live life without a smartphone? Or live life without the internet? I question if the internet will become classified as a public ‘utility’ in the future?... As imperative to life as gas and electricity and air conditioning and heat are now to our way of life? I compare and contrast my life before and life after in my head all the time, as only ones who really and truly experienced both can do so. And I also see life before Nine Eleven, and I see life after Nine Eleven. We are definitely a different nation today than we were before the attacks. Just as the entire world is different today directly because of social media’s never-ending presence, as well as the invention of the smartphone. On future Nine Eleven’s, there will be more new and innovative inventions that will have changed human behavior and communication yet again. When I go to sleep tonight I will know that this day will come again 365 days from now. The world may be far different again next year at this time. And years into the future. One thing will remain the same though. That feeling inside my stomach. That pit. Because all the technology in the world cannot change the real and raw feeling inside a human heart. And stomach. It will be like the ‘Groundhog Day’ film, I think to myself. The same day all over again. Just 365 days apart, not the next morning. Except this year, 2019, there was one difference for me. Today, this Nine Eleven, 2019 - eighteen years later - I came to the realization that an entire generation of Americans are now legal adults who never lived through that horrific day in America. They don’t know what waking on this day feels like to some. They need to know our history. - how and why things can change in an instant. I pray they are taught what happened. My dad is a World War II history buff. That’s how I have always thought of him. And when I think of his history knowledge, I then think of the show Seinfeld… The episode where Jerry and George see Keith Hernandez. And Jerry tells George that Keith Hernandez is a big Civil War buff. George is fascinated by the statement. He says he’d like to be a buff. What does one have to do to become a buff? He contemplates. My father is one of those such buffs. Sometimes I think he knows more about WWII than some of the generals who fought in the war. Recently, June 6, 2019, marked the 75th Anniversary of D-Day. I like to educate myself about WWII. I like knowing as many details as I can. I’d like to someday know all that my father knows about WWII. Yet, I know I will never know as much as my father knows. He knows things that WWII movies get factually wrong. When this past 75th Anniversary came and went, I couldn’t help but think at the time, that someday, it will be the 75th Remembrance of Nine Eleven. And then the 100th. Whole generations come and gone. What will American’s think that day, Nine Eleven of the distant and unknown future? Will they be watching television that day, on some strange futuristic device, and see world leaders from all over the globe come together to remember the fateful day of the past? Will people put flags up and wear American flag tees and pins to remember 9/11 that far into the future? They might, and they will, if future generations are taught what happened. A history which is forgotten is a history that may be repeated. If something is forgotten, how does one learn anything at all from that something? To the new and waking and growing generations of American’s out there - this is what Nine Eleven feels like to some of your fellow Americans. And next year, on Nine Eleven, Twenty Twenty, we will feel this way again. This is why the American Flag is brought out specifically today, hung proudly outside homes and businesses and in window displays and waving from vehicles all across the country. This is why news coverage is different today. This is why when you Google something today on your smartphone you will see a sad and somber black ribbon just below the search bar, draped gently over the American Flag; a Flag who mourns a loss from 18 years ago today. And next year, on Nine Eleven, I already know on that morning I will again wake and I will again look at my calendar and see the date; and a sinking pit of a sad and heartbreaking feeling will fall upon my stomach. That Groundhog Day repetitive feeling will come upon me again. Reliving the day with heartache and a profound sadness. And I will go out into society to get coffee, and I will tip the barista something extra that day - whether I can afford to or not. Living the same day, with the same feelings and emotions, again. And tears will come again. Without end on that day of the calendar, Nine Eleven. For the rest of my life. I will never forget. 
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